Should “gig drivers” be Employees?

There's so much going on in the world today. Choosing what to write about has become a bizarre activity. Do I write about the ongoing slaughter of black people in the U.S. by white supremacists in uniforms? Do I write about the president's cocaine habit? Oh come on, look at him and tell me he doesn't look and sound like a coke head. He embodies everything dumb and harmful from the 70's/80's. Anyway... Do I write about more coronavirus shenanigans?

No, what I'm going to write about is a current California issue. I'll try to explain what I see happening, what the implications of it are, and why it sucks. The issue at hand is officially known as the California Assembly Bill 5. AB5 basically changes California law to define “gig drivers” as employees. This would give California the right to lots of cash in the form of taxes from Uber, Lyft, and all the rest of them. The law, written by Lorena Gonzales, is about as clumsy and heavy-handed as that mallet you see Gallagher use at the end of his shows. I find the accusations that because her CV before her election is heavy with labor organizing, that AB5 is somehow meant to result in mass union membership increases to be hilariously quaint. The law is about getting tax money out of Uber/Lyft, plain and simple. What it also does is wreck a lot of the gig economy, not just the Uber/Lyft drivers. So I guess in the Gallagher metaphor AB5 is the mallet, Loreza Gonzales is Gallagher, and the watermelon is the Goose that Laid the Golden Egg, which is gig work. And if you think that metaphor is overwrought and complicated, welcome to the legal fuckery of AB5.

So anyone that is a gig worker, but doesn't drive, like say, a translator, is fucked. No company is going to willingly risk liability when they can just hire someone else out of state to do a job that doesn't require a physical presence really anyway. Graphic design, drafting? Remote work. Any kind of commercial art? Remote work. Literally anything that can be remotely done, can be done out of state. There are a lot of people that do creative work getting fucked by this law. Which, I want to continue to point out, is not about helping people, doesn't help people, but is about tax money.

Granted, the current AB5 exempts some professions. But it is kind of telling how clumsy and poorly thought out the law was that it now needs a long list of exemptions. From veterinarians to fisherman, everyone was getting caught up in AB5's clumsy long arm. Now, it is known that faschy right interests love to oppose things like this, especially on principle. It is a labor regulation, it was proposed by a Latinx woman who is a democrat. So I would expect some of the outcry over this to just be white supremacy vomit. Anyone who is familiar with the smell of their bullshit breath would. But it wasn't just vote by color idiocy in the outcry over this bill. Remember, actual people are being harmed by this crude attempt to rake in tax revenue. Elizabeth Tobias said, “I have been a freelance artist for over 30 years, and I feel that my dignity has been violated. Suddenly, I am being punished.”

No surprise that at a fundraiser back in February (ah, remember February? We were all so much more simple back then, it was a simpler time...<vomit>) when AB5 protesters showed up to protest Lorena Gonzales, she just assumed they were the normal conservatards and said “Fuck Donald Trump”. Hilariously, no one was there to support Trump. They were all there to hold up signs about AB5, quoting one eyewitness protester, Gloria Rivera: “How illiterate can you be to not see signs that say AB5 and then yell, f-Trump”. Oh Gloria, you don't have to be illiterate, you just have to be a politician. Lorena Gonzales claims she was repeating a sentiment that was spoken just before she yelled, “Fuck Trump”. Gloria, politicians are like parrots. They like repeating things that sound good, and they're only in it for the crackers! Boom, double slam! So anyway, as you may have guessed, Uber/Lyft fought the law. Guess who won?!

The law won! Yay? Nah, not yay. The only thing a court defeat did was drive Uber and Lyft further into desperation, threatening to just close up shop if they didn't get their way. I can forgive somewhat people that can't understand politicians don't care about them. They're dumb, they like lying flatterers, they like cheering in large crowds. I get it, I guess. What is unforgivably stupid to me are the people that can't understand that corporations do not give a flying fuck about their welfare. These people are the target of the massive several hundred million dollar ad campaigns to convince them that a crazy piece of dumb bullshit that is obviously a trap is in fact a good idea. In this specific case that several hundred million dollar ad campaign is in service to 2020 California Proposition 22. You thought AB5 was bad?! Here comes Prop 22.

What can I say about Prop 22 that is positive? It is indeed a work of genius. If that genius is evil  and wants to create a 21st century company store situation with gig workers instead of miners. The law claims to provide guaranteed earnings. But if you read it, there is no guarantee. The law does promise that you'll get some money, but if you're sick, or you can't work because of natural disaster, you're still fucked. The law also requires that they stop stealing your tips! How nice of them to enact a law to forbid them from doing what they tried to do, but walked back on, because it was obvious and heinous and was hurting their business. How nice of them to agree to stop all that in print! The compensation for per mile engaged will floor at $0.30 per mile. Drivers can experience costs as low as $0.19 per mile or as much as $0.34 per mile. It depends on price of gas, miles travelled per trip, etc.

The basic takeaway here is that Uber/Lyft know their drivers and know that $0.30 per mile engaged will sound good. It sounds good because drivers also get a tax break which, if they select the tax break for a per mile basis, will get about $0.58 per mile. And when you see $0.88 per mile, you start thinking you are into some serious shit. You start thinking you maybe could do this full time, and be free of the bosses. You start thinking you could be self-employed. The practical reality of Prop 22 is that most drivers would be stuck in an ever expanding wheel of debt. Any repairs, or other expenses incurred, and suddenly a per mile cost of $0.19 per mile balloons to $0.50 per mile, and most of that glorious loot you thought you'd be rolling in evaporates like Stephen Miller in sunlight; that is, it catches on fire and disintegrates like a fucking vampire! How you gonna pay rent now bitch?

By now, if you're sharp, you could be asking, “Yeah, but how does that lead to company store bullshit?” So, about 5 years ago or so, Uber started issuing visa credit cards that give up to $0.15 per gallon discount on gas. At that time, it was for drivers that met an activity threshold, as a means of driver retention. Let’s assume the care has a 15 gallon gas tank and gets 20 mpg. That is 300 miles, with an average per mile savings of $0.0075 per mile. Dope. How many people do you think are going to get into credit debt buying gas anyway? And that is just existing systems they could leverage. These cats like to innovate and be disruptive. I can see in the future Uber issuing car loans that make student debt look like an attractive situation to get your life into.

The sad thing is, most of the drivers I've talked to, (and no, not even close to even 1% of them have I talked to; we're in anecdote territory now, and if Ben Shapiro can do it, so can I), have already aligned themselves vote by color style. Either Lorena Gonzales is a Marxist trying to destroy liberty and commerce for the Unions, or she is a glorious savior of the people. Uber/Lyft are innovators and victims of politicians living in the 20th century, or they are cheats and liars being brought to task. The reality, Gonzales is a politician trying to increase tax revenue at the expense of the people and their livelihood. Uber and Lyft are nefarious corporations who rip their drivers off, write their own laws, and most importantly, don’t pay enough taxes.

It is sad to me, that the people who are being wrecked by these two interests are now flocking to one or the other thinking they've found a savior. When in reality, it is these power interests fighting over the people as a commodity to be exploited that has wrecked their lives, not one or the other interest. Voting won't really solve this. If you don't vote for Prop 22, you'll still have to live with the fallout from AB5. If you do vote for Prop 22 you're a fool that wants something worse than a boss. A boss you owe money to. They used to call that indentured servitude. Debt slavery. So a California legislature clumsily tried to rake in some dough, didn't care who she hurt in the process, and then shady corporations responded by threatening a tantrum of closing up shop as they tried to find a way to leverage their loss in court into a new form of debt slavery.

So that's it basically. I guess I could have gone into it deeper, but no one else is bothering. Lorena Gonzales didn't take the time to write better law, maybe after researching the economy she was going to drastically alter, creating consequences that are wrecking lives and might bring in more money for the state, or might not. What's the loss in tax revenue due to the law versus what is gained? I don't know! I'd wager $20 neither does Lorena Gonzales! Uber and Lyft are hoping you don't read into their shit at all. Desperately hoping you don't read fine print and start doing math. They might start to sweat if you start making spreadsheets. And that, friends, is the Tragedy of AB5.


Patacelsus

A Discordian for 20 years, Patacelsus finally got comfortable when the 21st century “started getting weird.” When not casting sigils, taking part in Tibetan Buddhist rituals, or studying the unfortunate but sometimes amusing stories of the dead, he’s been known to wander the hidden ways of the city, communing with all of the hidden spirits one can find in a city. As Patacelsus sees it, we’re all already free; after completing the arduous task of waking up to that we can then proceed, like a doctor treating a patient, to try to rouse others from the bitter and frightening nightmares of Archism. He laughs at Samsara’s shadow-play in lovely California, in the company of his wife, two cats, and two birds.

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